What is the definition of Seating Weapon?

A seating weapon is a rather...unsettlingly mundane, yet surprisingly sinister, term for the very thing that keeps us from all the social graces we'd love to have. Imagine this: "In the dimly lit, stiflingly formal banquet hall, the CEO casually raised his hand and declared, 'Take your seat, everyone!' before promptly launching a personal attack on the next person in line with a chair that looked suspiciously like it was plotting revenge."

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So, here's a darkly humorous example: "With the office now serving as a makeshift circus for our sedentary cubicles, our CEO decided to deploy his 'eating weapon' - a chair so ornate and intimidating, it was a living nightmare waiting to happen."